


Alcohol and Mansplaining

by youbelongwithswiftie



Series: It feels the way that love should, Because we got something good. [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Chaos, Gen, Parents of Teenagers, Twins, chaotic - Freeform, cursing, percabeth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24084604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youbelongwithswiftie/pseuds/youbelongwithswiftie
Summary: Percabeth has twin daughters. They are crackheads. Follow for their adventures.
Series: It feels the way that love should, Because we got something good. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737595
Kudos: 1





	Alcohol and Mansplaining

“You know, Ari, everytime I see this tik-tok, all I can think of is mom.”   
“Which one?” She’s trying to paint the wall, without dripping paint all over the bed. What is wrong with her paint today?   
“You know, the one that goes two shots of vodka and then she pours like the whole damn bottle?”   
She looks over at her sister, sitting in bed, guitar perched on her knee, but scrolling through her phone. “Liz, that’s a vine NOT a tik-tok.”   
“I mean, they’re basically the same thing. So, ya know, go with it.” Ariadne rolled her eyes, and went back to painting the wall. This sunset painting was going to get finished today. She wanted to start a new project and the more she has to scrap and recoat the wall, she might just push her brain over the edge. “Anyways, I’m going to go find our parents. Make sure they’re not causing trouble.” Mmm-hmm, you mean like you’re trying to do, Ariadne thought.   
It couldn’t have been longer than five minutes that Liz was gone, but when she did come back, she was very annoyed. “Listen, Ari, for the sake of professionalism, Mom has not gone off on this guy, but this little man-whore-”   
“Lizzie, you shouldn't use man-whore, it's nasty.”   
“Right, right..you’re right. This lil bitchchacha keeps talking over her, mansplaining her job to her. So, I say we do something about it.” She sighed, here it comes.   
“We gotta make her a drink.”   
“Oh yes! I’ve been wanting a drink for a while.”   
“Girl, what?”   
“You think I don’t have more than 1 fake ID? Girl, please.” Elizabeth cackled. “To the alcohol cabinet!” 

“Okay, Chlo, what’s in a Long Island?”   
“Um, well, our beach house at Camp where I wish we were right now?”   
“The drink you numbskull!”   
“You don’t already know? Wow, and I thought you owned a fake ID.”   
“Doesn’t mean I go out drinking a strong ass drink. They’d kill me if I came home drunk as a skunk. I usually stick to like a single rum and coke. I mean, the lighter you go, the less you are to spill all your damn secrets.” 

“Anyways, the google says its got coke -”   
“Where are we supposed to get cocaine?”   
“The DRINK. LIKE COCA-COLA…. Who’s the crackhead now, Ariadne Rose?”   
“Lizzie! Oh my god! Both our middle names are after types of wine! Chloe and Rose!”   
“I - Oh my gods, you’re right. What the hell?” They both sat there for a few minutes. “How have we been alive for 16 years and didn’t know that?” They both started laughing, call it cabin fever, but this social-distancing was hell for the two of them and seemed to be making them delirious.   
“Back to the drink: Google says it has coke, vodka, tequila, gin, rum, sour mix, triple sec...Do we have all that?”   
“Well, we’ve got some vodka, I don’t see any of that other stuff. There may be some tequila somewhere.”   
“Well, shit. Hang on, I’m going to ask dad.”  
“No! Have you lost your mind? If he finds out, he’ll kill us.”   
“No, he wouldn’t...But, maybe you’re right. We definitely shouldn’t tell a responsible adult what we’re doing...even though another responsible adult will be getting the drink.”   
“Fuck it. I’m just going to put some vodka and coke, and like some of that simple syrup stuff dad uses.”   
“That’s for cakes and stuff, not alcohol.”  
“Bih- I don’t care.”   
“Well, at least Mom’ll crash from a sugar high rather than being drunk… Ooh, we’ve got ice cream. Should we add some?” Ariadne can tell Elizabeth is getting punchy, and is really about to start going bat-shit with whatever they do to their poor mother.   
“Yes. Yes, we should.”   
“I don’t think this can really count as an alcoholic beverage at this point.”   
“Well, it's definitely not a Long Island, that’s for sure… Are we done? I think we should be done.” 

“Okay, so like, should we knock on the door?”   
“Liz, what? No. You literally said she’s still on the call.” She opens the door, and they can see her glance up, and then look back at the computer. The man is still talking.   
“You see, I really want it to have a sort of green-house feel. Like, I want the roof to be a dome with nothing but windows. Have you seen a dome before? They’re really cool, and I don’t want anything to be just a boring square. And, well, I don’t think you’ve seen a colosseum before, but that’s really what I’d like for the main area. I also really want…” Mom looked like she wanted to strangle him. Ari set the drink on the desk and turning around, she saw Lizzie with that dam sign. IT'S ALCOHOL. DRINK.   
“Shit, Lizzie, I thought you were joking about that.” Oops. That was loud.   
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Garnichelli. I’m going to have to call you back.” They heard the glass slam onto the desk. Uh oh. The call ended, and she said, “Gee, no. I’ve never heard of very simple fixtures in architecture - ever. I’m just saying I’m an architect for shits and giggles.” Lizzie snorted. “Girls, what is in this drink?”   
“Uh, ice cream, coke, and vodka.”   
“You… okay. Thank you, but if I drink this, I’m going to end up calling that mansplainer ass back and give him a piece of my mind, so I’m getting some wine…” She stood up, and walked to the door, and then back to her desk, “and I’m going to dump this out so neither of you decide to take it for yourself.”   
“You trust us that little?”   
“No, I just don’t want to explain to my husband why his daughters were in the alcohol without permission. Now, come on, we’re watching Reign and eating a shit ton of the cookies he baked.”


End file.
